This especially
“I want my own life back, not whatever crumbs of it I can steal: emails here and there, phone calls once in a blue moon, furtive blog reading and writing when everyone else is asleep — if there isn’t too much work; if I’m not so blindly angry at my family that I can’t sit still; if the internet is working; if I’m not interrupted; if I can keep awake. I want to be unapologetically out as a feminist, as sex-positive, queer, atheist, angry, self-centred, female, human, in my daily life, whether it’s sleeping without underwear, or talking openly, or being able to find and read the books I’m searching for in a bookstore, or going out without answering to anyone or worrying that I’ll be harassed, followed, groped, raped. I want to be able to write freely without worrying about what people will think if they read it, about where to hide my diary, about how to make sure that nobody associates me with this blog, about how to keep myself safe rather than how to push my limits further.”

I just kept saying yes, yes, yes – she is articulating exactly what is in my head and heart right now. exactly.

jen.

I just want to say your posts make me crazy.
Your choice of words, your ability to split open the guts of what you are feeling . . . I find sometimes I am left “disturbed” (in a good way), challenged to think of how I have been remis in articulating and exploring the same types of feelings in my life, how I have not attended to my needs (sexually, emotionally,etc.) perhaps because I ultimately don’t believe I deserve to have them met.

Anyway, I suppose that is the inevitable result of good writing and your compulsion to do so (despite your recent distractions). While I would not be able to commit such things to paper (excuse the antiquated reference), it is appreciated that you can and do.

Chains. Do you recall the story about the circus elephant?.

L