Love is simple

This is part affirmation, part reminder to myself and the rest of the universe. Something, somehow put this song in my head the other day and reminded me to stop moping, stop obsessing, stop treading the same tired paths of self-reproach, recrimination and fear. I’ve been swinging wildly from nostalgia to close to hopelessness, from rage around 180 degrees to desire, blaming them all on the pangs of love, but however intertwined with it they might be, they are not love, and nor are my agonisings about her, about me, about ‘us’ and whether ‘we’ exist at all and what it all means. Love is calm moments when all the insistent inner voices are silenced — waking up to see my dog prancing through the bushes, her tail a question mark of possibilities, scattering petals everywhere; breathing in the cool rain smell from the wet clay pots by the side of the road; losing myself in the easy swing of my own body running in the park; finding the perfect words to fit a feeling… Love is those moments shared, even if only mentally, because I am not just me for that moment, I’m also her because I care so much about her that it eclipses my own reaction, even if she isn’t there. Love is being able to take a breath and tell that moment honestly — I would like to share this beauty with you, you were in my thoughts, you bring me happiness, I love you — and stop there, not go on to do you think of me, when do I hear from you, suppose we never see each other again, have you stopped loving me yet? Love is being able to send that moment winging its way through the universe and accept fully the response the universe sends back. Love is doing this over and over and over again, as fresh and beautiful each time, even if there was no answer, even if a kiss came flying back with its own love, even if you didn’t quite dare to send it at all. Love is simple, but it isn’t easy.

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~ by mortarandpestle on June 1, 2008.

3 Responses to “Love is simple”

  1. Nope, it isn’t easy. Beautiful song. I always enjoy hearing k.d.’s voice.

  2. I think this album songs of the 49th parallel is just brilliant — one of my favorites. When she sings Jane Siberry’s song “The Valley” it just kills me it’s so beautiful.

    Your thoughts are lovely as well, I too have spent too much time looking backwards lately. I think it’s the feeling of love that I miss and perhaps not the person. Your situation could be very different I don’t know. But love can be simple but simple is not easy – you’re right. Things like fear get in the way.

    janet

  3. mmm. yes. stopping before those questions of reciprocation and doubt.. so difficult.

    wonderful post 🙂

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